So we’ve spent a few days in Derby on a somber occasion. Its coincided with my eldest who was getting better from strep throat had some kind of relapse and I ended up in the local walk in centre for urgent care. Being in a strange place that I am not used to meant I’d have to pay special attention to where I’d have to park remember doctors name etc as my husband was busy with the rest of the family. So I ended up parking on a road where there was an hour free … Well they said it was a 45 minute wait and they normally exagerate the time so I’d be ok right?? Nope 20 minutes of waiting I knew I’d be here longer so I’d have to move the car.
I tell the receptionist, she was fine, it felt like forever moving the car and I ended up having to park in the hospital and then working my way back to the walk in centre with a 3 year old who was getting tired and irritable. So never the less we made in back. I pass the receptionist and ask ‘have we been called?’ ”No’ she replied and so we made ourselves comfortable and waited … for another hour! By now my son was very irritable and people who had come in after us were being seen by the triage team … So I politely ask again ‘have we been forgotten?’ This time the response was very different.
Yes, an hour ago!! I remained calm and asked to be seen very quickly. So we then got boosted to the top of the list and triaged, and to the doctor who said Mason was fine. Infact he was happy with him and that on the back end of the strep throat which was healing fine he’d picked up a bug. Given the rubbish weather we’d experienced over the Easter Bank Holiday I’d agree. So off we went back home feeling calmer than when I had set off.
By later afternoon Mason again had a fever was passed out asleep and felt like his fever was sky high … Again alsorts of thoughts went through my head. He awoke mid evening and seemed really off and wasnt particulary sociable. So again I wondered if he was actually well. He then suddenly perked up and wanted to watch his favourite ‘Mothergoose Club’ which was fine with me.
My parents in law agreed to babysit for two days so I could finish off some marking and take my car for a service so I was leaving both behind which I had been looking forward to but after the day I had it was a bittersweet thought. I am now en route back home and feel like I have been on one hell of a roller coaster and my stomach definately feels like alot of butterflies are fluttering away causing me to feel very anxious. So there. Two days of a rollercoaster. Exhausted, anxious and in desperate need of a night out is how I feel!
I imagine plenty of working mums feel this way and we constantly live in fear of babysitters letting us down, children too sick for nursery etc etc but do we ever feel that we are in control of our lives at any point? Or just living on a daily roller coaster ride or on sort or another?